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When Kereen texted me "Say Happy Fathers' Day!", it is without a doubt that my mood changed soon after that.
It was an honest mistake, it was a slip off her mind, and it's okay, but then you know sometimes as much as you're trying to divert your attention to something else, something just had to remind you of it. 
Since yesterday I've been trying to forget that it's Fathers' Day today. 
There was a dinner at the park opposite my house to celebrate Fathers' Day.
I'm left with 3 hours and then I'm off to camp again.
5 days, 5 days, and then weekends are mine baby. 

My ankles are super swollen. 
And I didn't realise it till Mama was staring at my feet. 
My ankles are the size of my ankles when I sprained them, they looked like tennis balls. 
I hope the swelling ease soon.
Must be because of the intensive drills, jogging and leg exercise.
It's weird how Mama said I look skinnier but when I weighed myself, I gained 3kg.
Probably it's the muscles. Yay. 
I hope everyone in the squad will be more understanding so that unnecessary conflicts can be prevented.
I hope that I can do a good job when I become the Squad IC next week.
Gives me the stress whenever I see the officers' attention on us, just because we are the 1st all-female-squad.

I'm booking in 4 hours time. 
The perfect way to spend my Sunday before I book in would be with my family.
Some stuffs happened and I hope my sister's condition isn't that bad. 
Waiting for my uncle to arrive and drive my sister to TTSH.
I think she might have appendicts. 
She's lying in the room now, barely can move, and her face is in great pain.
Seeing her in that state makes my heart sink.
Worst would be I'm gonna be in camp. 

 




 

HAPPY 21ST BIRTHDAY MY DEAREST JAZREEL! 
I'm sorry that not everyone in the group could make it. But nonetheless, we still enjoyed ourselves.
We miss you, You're such a busywoman ever.
It's gonna be so difficult for us to meet up from now on.
Do take care of yourself okay? 

Back from police camp yesterday's night and I spent the whole night packing, polishing my boots etc.
I barely have much energy to talk much with my family. 
My saturday will be gone soon, and tomorrow night I have to book in. 
Looking forward for the new week but I don't wish to leave home so fast.
Even more pimples on my face now and it makes me feel depressed.
See you next week world! 

My left wrist is hurting again. 
I thought it has fully recovered, okay I thought it was, since I have been refraining myself from doing anything that needs to apply so much pressure on my wrist. 
It all started from carrying weight. 
Just a few nights ago, I decided to do push up again, well, I need to do push ups when I'm in camp for sure, so I decided to try again.
Now cause' of my weak wrist which is easily in pain again when I apply force on it, I have trouble doing push ups now. 
This sucks. Cause the pain took weeks to go away previously. 

Exactly one more week to go. 
The long wait is finally paid off.
The longer I wait, the more fickle minded and depressed I am.
So even though it was a sudden notice about the intake next Wednesday when SPF called this morning, least they called.
Rather than leaving me hanging with no reply.
I'm so exciteddddd! 

Did Mama just tell me to check out DSLRs?!?!?!
Wow, that's something new to hear.
Earlier on I was talking about selling off my lousy Samsung digital camera which I bought for $500plus.
Believe it or not, the number of times I used my camera can be counted with the number of fingers I have. 
For that amount I paid, it definitely didn't deliver the results I want.

Running away from my emotions has always been the easiest way out.
I'm done now. 
I'm so exhausted from running.
Face it or live to regret.
As easy as it is to run away and pretend you don't care, deep down you still do. 

A strong front by the day and when I'm lying on the bed, in my parents' room, I just let my guard down.
So much for distracting myself with so many stuffs. 
At the end of the day, I'm still as vulnerable as ever. 
Thought that I have moved on and accepted the fact that you're gone. 
But I was wrong. 
I'm not okay, I have never been fine since the day you left. 
Images of you running through my mind out of a sudden and I would just cry.
This has been the cycle for the past 7 months. 
When will I ever move on? 
It is so difficult.